he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
