I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
