Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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