life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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