arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
