Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
