just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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