A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
