just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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