so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
