I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
