Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
