Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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