A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
