Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
