I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
