They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
