Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
