i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
