The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
