Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
