hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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