I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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