I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
