i may or may not be watching the land before time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
