You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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