so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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