I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize