I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
