We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
be right there i have to get my cape
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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