they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
