I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
