I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
