I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
