Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
