No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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