They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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