so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
