Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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