lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
