Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
