There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm so fucking centered right now
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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