i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
