I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
