1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
