everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
