you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
