he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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