I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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