So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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