I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
