Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
